Tough Week....Last Chemo Treatment....Or is it?!?!!?

Oh where oh where do I start with this post?!?!!  Let me just first start off by saying thank you to everyone for your continued support and praise the Lord….this has been a very eventful and stressful week to say the least.  So this week was started with excitement and anticipation of Sarah’s last chemo session scheduled for Tuesday but of course things are never easy and sometimes you gotta go through the shit to test your faith and resilience!  Well folks this week was one of those times. 

So Monday came and Sarah had a post-op appointment with Dr. Moore (general surgeon) to evaluate a “mass” that was located at the top of her left breast near the armpit.  Sarah’s cosmetic surgeon Dr. Rhee had seen Sarah last Thursday and was a little concerned but not overly stressed about the mass and therefore advised Sarah to see Dr. Moore and possibly get an ultrasound.  So Dr. Moore “concured” with Dr. Rhee….I like when doctors use concur reminds me of the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio “Catch Me If You Can” where he plays a con man and there is a portion of the film where he is impersonating a head surgeon of an ER department and he is asking all the fellow doctors if they “concur” since he has no idea what the hell is going on or what to do with an ER patient that shows up in the Emergency Room….so the correlation is if you see a doctor saying I concur either they have nothing else to add professionally or they have no idea what is going on and therefore are agreeing with another physicians assessment…LOL!  I love Dr. Moore and she’s a great surgeon….that just pops into my head anytime I hear “concur”….now the same will be true for each of you next time you hear “concur”…yeah you’re welcome!  Smile because you will think of this next time you hear someone say “concur”….haha....So off to Sally Jobe we go for an ultrasound to see what the mass is….we got in on Monday afternoon since they are able to squeeze us in!

We arrive at Sally Jobe and all those same feelings and concerns from February start up again….the wondering, stress, and concern!  I’m sitting in the reception area waiting for Sarah to finish and get called back meanwhile I’m watching house hunters on HG..…nice selection of properties if I do ay so myself…you can get some pretty big houses in Texas for your dollar!  Once Sarah is done they escort me through their maze of corridors to get back to her imaging room where we wait for the radiologist.  The doc comes in and says good news the mass is a “well-defined hypoechoic mass, presumed seroma”….laymen terms it’s a fluid-filled mass which is good…most likely as a result of her reduced swelling and post-operative healing.  And of course the radiologist continues and says there one more thing “your lymph nodes appear to be enlarged and quite noticeable on the ultrasound, perhaps they were missed during surgery, I suggest you follow up with your oncologist to determine a course of action”….yeah thanks doc I “concur”…great check one thing off our list and then add another….appreciate that! 

So with that lovely news we go into Tuesday with excitement that this is Sarah’s last chemo treatment…..FREAKING AWESOME!!!  So pumped that she is through this portion of her care!  Well that was short lived and crushed by the report from the radiologist at Sally Jobe…Sarah’s oncologist reviews the report and indicates that they are recommending biopsy of the enlarged lymph node and the adjacent nodule….”nodule” WTF is a “nodule”…there was no discussion of this yesterday….seriously what is going on!?!?!  Well of course the oncologist has some reservations about what that possibly could be and said Sarah has to get a biopsy of this tissue ASAP so Sarah was appointed for Wednesday at 7am.  So we are down and frustrated at this point and Sarah still has to go into chemo….hang in there honey!  Keep your spirits up….at this point I feel like we are in the ring with Mike Tyson and we keep getting knocked down every time we get up and we can’t even get out of the damn first round of the fight! 

Wednesday morning came fast and she was back at Sally Jobe for her biopsies and again an all too familiar place that started this venture back in February…..yes HG was on again this time I got to watch “Property Virgins”….these people and their unrealistic expectations for their first house….give me a break with all of their wants and demands…I don’t know how you real estate agents out there do it with some of these clients.  Yeah I got to watch about 3 episodes…Sarah eventually came out and said that the radiologist that did the procedures said that he did not see these “nodules” and only saw lymph nodes….seriously damn nodules!!!  Either way enlarged lymph nodes in Sarah on the left side is still concerning and of course enlarged lymph nodes can be for a number of reason that are not associated with cancer but they can also be CANCER!

Let’s just say that the rest of Wednesday, Wednesday night and today pretty much sucked just waiting to hear the biopsy results because if things came back malignant that would mean a whole new course of care (additionally surgery, more chemo, stronger drugs, etc)!  Not what we want at all….so back to the waiting game…and waiting!  So we have an appointment with the oncologist today at 3:30 pm and I’m always conflicted because if they get the report they sometimes call with good news and other times they just do it at the appointment…other times is just takes that long to get the report back and no news is good new SOMETIMES and other times bad news typically travels faster than good!  So as you can imagine you’re constantly trying to assess the situation and convince yourself why you haven’t heard something in a favorable manner but at the same time in the back of your mind your thinking they haven’t called because they want to give us the bad news in person!  As you can imagine this pretty much sucks.

We get the oncologist for the appointment and I was honest with Sarah and said I was worried….that constant positivity I try to embody was just not there and I was struggling to make sense of everything…..why is this happening?  What else can we go through?.........to be honest I think Sarah was feeling the exact same as I was!!!  So they bring us back and do the whole weight, blood pressure and temperature check and then we go sit and wait in the consultation room…..I tell her “if we get good news I’m doing a freaking cartwheel out the front door when we leave”……..yes for those of you wondering I can indeed do a perfect cartwheel!  About 1 minute after that Sarah’s phone rings and she says “How funny would that be if this is the oncologist calling to give us the news even though we are sitting in the consult room”….it wasn’t them but it was Dr. Moore's RN Renee and all I heard was BENIGN on both tissue samples……I screamed for joy in that room and tears filled my eyes….BENIGN no cancer in the lymph nodes.  Then her oncologist Dr. Basche came in literally 30 seconds later and the first thing out of her mouth was “great news the results are benign on both biopsies”.  I had to burst her bubble that Renee from Dr. Moore’s office totally stole her thunder.  You could tell she was elated to give us the news either way…..

So what can I say……this week has been a rollercoaster of emotions amongst other things…….today is absolutely a great day!  All that stress and tension is gone.  Sarah is DONE WITH CHEMO….NO MORE!!  Yaaaayyyyyyyy…..next step is to get her through the next two weeks of post-chemo stuff and then on to “new boobs” first of September. 

Again thank you everyone for everything……large and small!  Everything that everyone does truly matters and we are fortunate to have so many of you out there thinking, praying and taking good care of us during this difficult time.  Today was a victory so congratulate Sarah when you get a chance on her last chemo session and staying strong……she’s a warrior and kicking cancer’s ass at every opportunity!  I will keep everyone up to date as we come close to “New Boob Day”….God bless!!!

For those of you wondering did I do that cartwheel!??!!?……hell yeah I did right through the front doors as we were leaving!

Yo Cancer….You messed with the wrong bitch!

 
Mac

3 down 1 to go! Final countdown....

Only 1 more to go!

Since our last update just shortly after Sarah’s second chemo session life has returned to pretty much normal.  The 2^nd round according to Sarah was a lot more manageable than the 1^st round.  She contributed that to the immune system booster shot that she received the day after her second round.  That particular immune booster shot was longer lasting then the one she received the first time.  She did say her bones and muscles hurt pretty bad for the first day or so but after that she said it was night and day difference.  So obviously that shot is working and doing its job…..at a cost of $1000 it better be!  I have no idea what’s in that vial but it’s like “pure magic” made from unicorns and care bears or just various medications (G-CSF, granlocyte - colony stimulating factor) that stimulates the growth of white blood cells in the bone marrow to fight infection….that seems to make more sense of what’s in the vial but let’s just go with the unicorn and care bear thinking since that’s way more awesome!  But the good news was no infections, no visits to the ER for IV antibiotics and she said things were fairly easy over the last 3 weeks. 

She did make the decision to just go ahead and shave her head because the hairline was becoming patchy and she didn’t think it was cute any longer!  I disagreed and told her she is beautiful no matter what….she went to Floyd’s and had them straight razor the remaining hair.  I wasn’t there with her for that because I was working but the kids were and they seemed to have a good time with the whole event.  I told Belle to rub mommy’s head for luck!  Sarah said she was tolerating the whole situation very well until a gentleman came up to her after her haircut and insisted that he pay for everything.  He told Sarah the story of a dear friend of his that was going through the same thing and the least he could do was to pay for Sarah’s haircut.  Obviously emotion overcame Sarah and the tears began to run!  She was very appreciative of the generous offer but indicated that Floyd’s did it for FREE as a courtesy.  So bald is beautiful and is the new cut for summer of 2015!

Sarah’s 3 round of chemo was on Tuesday 7/7 and as usual she tolerated the treatment very well!  She had Jianna Wright to keep her company and for those of you that know Jianna as you can imagine she certainly made it eventful for Sarah.  She had the nursing staff laughing and she made the whole chemo situation livelier to say the least.  Good times in the infusion room…..Thank you Jianna for taking the time out of your day to spend it with Sarah during her treatment! 

Sarah was a little sore last night and she said the pain from the shot was starting but she is tough and still got up this morning and headed off to work……if you ever need inspiration I suggest Sarah, she truly inspires me every day….I’m in awe of her strength, perseverance and courage!  Keep up the fight honey!

Meal calendar is back up and running for this next week so thank you to those who are taking time out their day to bring us dinner.  We look forward to it every day that we have dinner coming our way!  Sarah is doing well with her nutrition, she was finally able to start taking the vitamin, probiotics and other nutritional items provided by the nutritionist that my Aunt Sandy helped coordinate.  So thank you so much to Sandy for her efforts and assistance in that area, we greatly appreciate you!

Sarah is on full out countdown for the last treatment…..19 days in counting until chemo is all over!  I suggested that we get one of those Christmas countdown calendars and then she can eat a chocolate candy for each day she gets closer!  Her cosmetic surgeon Dr. Rhee has released her to be a little more active but not much so she has started to workout during lunch beyond her 3mph waling limit so now she can so more leg work and expand her workout….she just needs to be very mindful of over extending her arms and just restricting the amount of weight her upper body can take.  This is just a slow process and better not to rush it and be patient so as to not delay the healing process.   She has her 2^nd stage of reconstructive surgery planned for September 3^rd…she will have her expanders removed and she will get her new boobs!  She is very excited to say the least…so everyone can wish her happy new boobs day on 9/3!

Sarah is doing well and so are the kids…..please continue to send your prayers her way that this next round goes well!  They say the 3^rd round is the hardest…..but if anyone can get though it Sarah most certainly can and will! 

Thank you as always to all our friends, family, and supporters helping us get through this time….we are over the hump and about half way through the entire process.  We can certainly see the finish line in sight!

Thank you,

Mac

Romans 12:12  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 


The Lord is watching over us for sure!

Chemo....the unwanted house guest!

June 9th, 2015

So it's been 2 weeks since Sarah received her first chemo treatment....let me tell what....chemo isn't messing around!  It certainly has been a roller coaster ride over the last two weeks...emotionally and physically....BUT I tell you what Sarah has been amazing over these last two weeks to the best of her ability not to allow the side effects get her down!  For those of you that have never had to go thru chemo personally or watch a love one endure the process....it basically sucks...no way around it!

The first 4 to 5 days after the treatment was probably the hardest for her...she had bouts of nausea, headaches, body aches, sleepless nights and fatigue.  Credit to her thru those 4 days she went to work every day and tried to maintain as much normalcy as possible...she was in bed by 7pm every night but that's to be expected!  Saturday was probably the worst day as far as fatigue goes but by Sunday she felt pretty much back to normal.  I think the fatigue came and went but overall she was doing well throughout the remainder of the following week after chemo.  She was in good spirits and doing well until Friday 6/5 came and she had to go to the oncologist for her CBC test (blood draw to determine how low her counts were).  The tests indicated that her white blood cell count was low and needed a little boost since she would be traveling to California on Monday

They needed to give her an injection of a drug (cant remember the name) that helps boost the white blood cells to help fight any possible infection, the only side effects are typically bone pain and fatigue.  Yeah she ended up getting both.....go figure!  She also had some striations on her left arm which presented as a possible infection most likely to the cording in the left arm and her immune system being low.  Perfect storm in a way!  So we ended up bouncing between nursing staff to the PT therapist back to a oncologist at the cancer center to determine the best course of action to address the infection.  After about 2 hour they ended up determining that Keflex would be advisable.  Sarah was in pain that Friday morning and knew something was wrong....in her words she said "it hurts like a bitch!!"  I said "alrighty lets just tell the doctor that so they can address your pain and get your infection down."  She didn't exactly put it those words but did alert them to the redness.

By Saturday the redness seemed to spread and was not longer in streaks but rather like a rash pattern....Sarah of course decided to consult Dr. McAllister (me) on what I thought was going on....which I replied "Um honey I'm not a doctor, lets page the doctor line" so Sarah decided to listen to me (not) and then google every thing else it could be....yeah great idea dear lets trust the internet to give the best medical advice.  Awesome!!  She finally paged the doctor on call and they wanted me to draw around the redness and if the redness spread beyond that line throughout the night to go to the ER for IV antibiotics.  Fortunately that did not happen and the redness had subsided by Sunday morning.  So that was pretty eventful!  We got to go my cousins house for some pool time on Sunday which the kids thoroughly enjoyed.

I think Saturday night was my low point since we were supposed to go to U2 but couldn't....Sarah couldn't risk possibly getting sicker since her immune system was compromised (the doc said you can go to U2 but Sarah has to wear a mask all night long....yeah who wants to go to a concert wearing a mask all night long.... yeah the answer is no one!!)and things just really set in that our life is somewhat controlled by cancer and treatments to destroy it...letting go and realizing we are not in control is a difficult thing to accept...I felt envious of people able to go about their normal lives without having to worry about cancer.  Was this what our lives had become and the worries that we have to consistently face?!?!?  I tried to stay positive but it was difficult and felt exposed as being completely human in my feelings, frustrations, anger, disappointment, lack of control over the situation we were dealing with....at the end of my pity party I came to my senses and realized this is about Sarah and getting her well.....ONE DAY AT A TIME!! 

Let's just hope that Bono and U2 weren't that good in concert....again if you went to the concert just tell me that it sucked! :)

Other than that for the eventful weekend Sarah made the decision to shave her head Friday night since she had her wig fitting on Saturday...as each of you could imagine that was very difficult for her and emotional!  She compared it to hearing for the first time that she had cancer.  I did my best to console her and comfort her but I don't know how successful I was in the endeavor....we certainly had some wait time before she said "screw it let's do it"....which I responded with "hold on let me get a beer"...yeah and of course I offered her a shot of vodka!  There were some tears shed at the beginning and some "ouch stop pulling my hair" commentary but she powered thru and at the end looked strong and ready to kick some cancer ass!  Some people even sent some photos comparing her to Charlize Theron from the new Mad Max...pretty nice compliment if you ask me! 

She wore her Colorado head cap throughout the night since she said her head was cold (she wore her head cap that she got from Alex Gish so thank you Alex for the cap....it kept her head warm).  The new wig looks good and she has a hat wig thingy that allows her to just but a cap on and it looks like natural hair around the hat.  Either way with a wig or without and completely bald she is beautiful....thank you to everyone who text her (friends, family, coworker, etc) and called to tell her how beautiful she is...the support was amazing!

Sarah ended up making the trip to California for work with the stipulation that she had to wear a mask at the airports and on the airplane!  She said that was a little embarrassing but understood it was necessary.  I told her to make her coworkers wear a mask on the way back to Denver so she didn't feel embarrassed (time to step up Julie!!! HAHA)....she is rockstar in my book for still staying on task at work and traveling to California for her job!

Next treatment is in a week and we will see how this one goes...hard to say if there is a pattern or if each occurrence has it's own post-care concerns.  The meal train is back up and going for the weeks of chemo so thank you to each of you have already signup...much appreciated!

Other than that we are hanging in there and just counting down the weeks until we can say "No more chemo treatments!"  I can't thank all of you enough for the continued support and checking in on Sarah...that support has been so helpful and many of you have not waivered since we found out she had cancer....you guys are amazing too so please understand how important each of you are to this process and your love and support does not go unnoticed!  I don't know how I will ever repay or tell you how much we appreciate it!

The support and words of encouragement mean so much..... they help Sarah keep up her spirits and will to fight so hard!  Keep continuing to remind her to eat well, drink her water, exercise (walk) when she can, and rest when her body tells her too (she has a problem with the last one)....God bless Sarah and keep those prayers coming!

Thank you everyone...

Mac

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" Philippians 4:13

1 session down.....3 to go!

May 26th

Sarah has been doing wonderful over these couple of weeks since our last post.  Her PT has been helping her range of motion and helping her get stronger every day.  Her left arm still is just not as strong as the right arm but obviously that is to be expected given the extensive surgery on the left arm.  She finds that she gets cold easy which is part of a having lymph nodes removed.  Part of her PT at home includes lifting golf clubs as resistance and stretching to work on the range motion.  After her PT at the rehabilitation center she is pretty sore but it is most certainly helping. 

Things actually started to feel normal over the past couple of weeks but I found myself thinking about the upcoming chemo treatments on occasion, at least I wasn't thinking about cancer anywhere near where is was a month ago.  I have been dreading the chemo and having to watch Sarah go thru some of the side effects and feeling powerless to help.  Of course everyone has different reactions to chemo, some have no real symptoms other than fatigue and hair loss where as others may go thru a lot more.  Only time will tell what Sarah will experience.  But I can tell you that Sarah will take each situation head on as she has thru this entire process....primary example....today was her first chemo session and afterwards she went to work like nothing went on this morning.  I have no idea how she does it and maintains as much normalcy as she does but God bless her.

We arrived at the Cancer Center around 8:30 where they took some vitals and we met with a woman from the nursing staff to make sure to address any questions we still had.  Most of our questions were answered at the chemo training so it was mostly just small chat and then off to the infusion room.  For most of you that have never been in an infusion room....its a huge room with small divider walls and 4 recliners in each pod.  Patients get the comfy recliners....visitors get foldup chairs.....yeah I think they should totally have 2 recliners (one for patient and one for visitor)....I will have to put that on a suggestion card!  You get to sit and watch others going thru the same treatments and battling cancer.  It sounds depressing on the surface watching this disease make a presence in so many people's lives but there is encouragement when you hear people come in and say "Today is my last session!" and they have a huge smile  on their face ear-to-ear....that certainly puts smile on my face seeing what the end looks like....knowing that too will be Sarah's response in the near future.  But for now we will just take one day at a time and let tomorrow worry about itself!

So we found a space to call home for the morning.....first they have to give her the iv line in her hand....yeah not the most pain-free area to get an iv but they have to start there in case something happens to the vein at that location and then they can move up the arm and redo the iv.  She did great on the first go....they then take some blood to check the blood counts (cbc).....all the blood counts came back perfect!  Then they start with the steroids and the anti-nausea meds.  She took those well along with some saline fluids....then they start with the first chemo drug (Cytoxan...chemical name: cyclophosphamide...for you chemical nerds out there)...they take their time administering the chemo drugs to make sure that she doesn't have an allergic reaction.  She did great taking the first chemo drug...only complaint was she got a little cold and had some pain where the iv was in her hand.  They said that localized pain is normal given that the meds are going into the vein at that location rather than a port....she is not needing a port given she will be only having 4 sessions.  Sarah did great on the next chemo drug (Taxotere...chemical name: docetaxel) as well....no problems there either.  They finish everything off with a final bag of saline just to make she gets a good amount of fluids. 

Water is very crucial while on chemo so if you see or talk to Sarah please make sure to remind her to drink her water.  Obviously good food and eating frequently in smaller amounts is also important....even when she is not hungry they advise that she still make an effort to eat!  Well today was a good day overall and she did great....afterwards she said she felt a little gittery....she wasn't sure if it was the chemo drugs or the steroids or even the morning latte her sister Britt brought over....Sarah and her darn Starbucks Grande skinny vanilla latte's just in case any of you plan on joining her for some future chemo sessions and would like to bring her favorite morning drink.  The total time at the infusion center was about 4 hours....typical for the first go since they take everything kind of slow to make sure the body doesn't have that allergic reaction.  After she was done it was off to work since she said she felt good....she even felt like going for a run....yeah that's definitely the steroids talking!  She is not allowed to run...doctors orders....she does not have workout release yet!  She is only able to walk and at a top speed limit of 3 mph....yes they are that specific....so it sounds like a treadmill will be her new best friend for the next 4 months if she wants to workout at all.

Lets hope that things continue to go well....its just Day 1 so it is fairly early to really know how she will do..... I do encourage her not over do it!  We will probably start the meal train again for the next 3 sessions just for the week of chemo given that the fatigue level will continue to worsen as she receives each chemo session.  If you wish to help out again or for the first time on meal train please email my mom at tmmperry12@gmail.com.  I plan on putting some links for meal ideas for people going thru chemo.

As always thank you to everyone supporting Sarah right now with encouragement, love, and warm wishes....it means a lot.  Good know that she has 1 session down and only 3 more to go!  Keep on fighting Sarah....each day is one day closer to the end of this journey!

Thank you,

Mac

Next Hurdle...Chemo start date!

May 4th, 2015

Just a quick update since the last post to let everyone know how things are going and how Sarah is doing!  Seriously I think that Sarah needs to own this blog a little more and take some ownership of keeping this updated....so please make sure to give her shit for not doing her part and making ME take the lead on HER blog!  HaHa....Just kidding I certainly don't mind updating it at all!

So Sarah has decided to start chemo on May 26th (Tuesdays for the course of the treatment)....she figured that it would be better this way so that she has the tail end of the week to recover so that she does have some of her weekends available during treatment.  Just a quick recap....the treatment will be 9 weeks long with treatment every 3 weeks so the chemo dates will be 5/26, 6/16, 7/7, and 7/28.  Then she will be done with chemo.  Let's hope that is passes that quickly as well.

Sarah has started back to work and she says it feels great to be back to her normal routine as weird as that sounds to be happy to go back to work.....I told her I would be content just hanging out at home and not go back to work!  That's not her personality at all to just sit around.....which is a good thing when you're battling cancer.  Her positive attitude and spirit over the last two months helped make her healing time much more reasonable.  At no time was she sitting around depressed and crying about her situation.....not to say there weren't any tears or stress from time to time but she wasn't going to let this keep her down!  She starts PT tomorrow so that should help with the limited movement of her left arm which seems to be improving more and more everyday but keeping mobility and reducing inflammation is essential to prevent lymphedema which she will be more susceptible too since the removal of the 14 lymph nodes.  Again just comes with the situation.

Other than that we are all doing great here and just enjoying some normalcy before chemo starts up....the meals have been so great and helpful...it's almost sad that there is no more meal calendar until we figure out what we need during her chemo treatments!  I have gotten spoiled with not having to make dinner every night....so thank you to Kristin & Kyle Smith, The Boggs, Amy Bowman, Jennifer and Chris Woelkers, Tammi Short, and Leah Nelson for all of he great meals we have received since the last blog update.  We will discuss the needs for meals as chemo nears and update everyone for those of you that still want to help with meals....most likely we will just plan for a couple days following each treatment but we will update everyone soon!

As always thank you to everyone for your love, support, and help.....we wouldn't be doing so well without all of you! 

Hey Cancer.....you messed with the wrong Bitch!

Thank you.....Mac

"Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it" John 14:13-14

Power of prayer is truly amazing...God bless and keep us healthy!

Chemo or No Chemo...that is the question!

So I know it’s been a while since we have updated the blog but we wanted to make sure we had some more information about her progress and possibility of chemo before adding a new post.  So to bring everyone up to date about Sarah and how she is doing…….Sarah is doing wonderful!  The sleepless nights are getting a little better but healing from this type of surgery takes time.  She got her last two drains out yesterday because Dr. Rhee said no more than 21 days of having those in….so they came out whether it was time or not!  Her drainage was still somewhat high up to yesterday (40cc on the left & 32cc on right drain for a 24-hour period).  Sarah says it feels so much better to have those out…her arm mobility is getting better on the right side but still very limited on the left.  This is due to the fact that the cancer was in the left breast and the lymph node removal (total of 14) was on the left side so naturally the left side will take longer to heal.

There was still concern pertaining to a possible significant blood clot in a vein that runs inside of the armpit and extends down the inside of the bicep of the left arm.  The vein is so tight that when Sarah lifts her arm up you can see it protrude like a rope through the skin….yeah apparently it’s very painful too!  She says it doesn’t hurt to bad when at rest but when they lift the arm to examine the area that is when it hurts like 10 out of 10!  They like to examine it a lot so I’m still waiting for her to punch of these doctors at some point….boom in the face!  HAHA  So after last Friday’s appointment with Dr. Rhee he decided that an ultrasound of the area is necessary just to rule out the concern of a blood clot so he sent us to the ER for imaging and immediate results….he suggested  the Castle Rock hospital since his building is right next to the hospital that it would faster….yeah um let’s just say it wasn’t “faster” (finger quotations in the air)…..a 30 minute post-op appointment turned into 5 hour stay in the ER!!!  What a great experience let me tell you…Sarah was getting pretty pissed off at about hour 4…lol!  I thought it was quite comical at that point since hospital and doctor appointments have become a regular occurrence in our lives….grrrrr!

Well after long waiting and two separate ultrasounds it was determined that there was no blood clot and that the vein was compressing and that mostly likely the vein is just aggravated and pissed off from surgery!  So just wait….take an aspiring a day and use warm compress on the area and it should eventually calm down….you think we would be very calm individuals at this point since everything is a waiting game in this cancer treatment process! 

Sarah did not get any expansion in the expanders on Friday since she is still debating on her current size…Dr. Rhee says she has some thinking to do and needs to know soon!  She says there is discomfort after each expansion so I think she is battling between more gain = more pain…literally!

So onto the chemo talk….we met with the oncologist today to discuss the findings from the OncaType DX testing to determine the likelihood of chemo.  Let me tell you my stomach was definitely very vocal leading up to the oncologist coming into the consultation room…it probably didn’t help that she was running 55 minutes behind schedule.  So nerves definitely got the better of me today.  So the test results came back NUMBER 24….so what does that mean!??!  Good question….here you go….so 1-18 score means that you are low risk of reoccurrence….19-31 intermediate risk of reoccurrence…31+ is high risk of reoccurrence (mind you the score is 0-100).  Her number being 24….again in the middle as all things have been through this entire process (the infamous grey-zone that we have called it)!  So will she benefit greatly from chemo??  Maybe….maybe not!  Can you say FRUSTRATION!?!?!

Everything taken into consideration we have done our best to take these things light-hearted and with faith that God will lead us down the appropriate path.  Remember her motto “Hey Cancer….You messed with the wrong bitch!”  So what does Sarah do to ensure that she kicking cancer’s ass……she take the hard road…the one with more challenges and temporary physical setbacks…the one that will cause her to lose her beautiful hair…the one that will potentially cause her fatigue, nausea, and feeling crappy…she chooses the one that will suppress her immune system and destroy all those cells that multiple quickly to ensure again that cancer will not get the best of her!!!  When faced with the opportunity not to have chemo because it may or may not help…..what does my wife do?!?!….she says screw that…no easy way out and give her the best possible option that gives her long life and cures cancer!

So CHEMO IT IS!!! 

Sarah is continues to amaze me every day….her spirit and fight makes me cry…..tears of joy, happiness, and pride!  I’m at a loss of words for how amazing she is……I can’t even begin to tell all of you how well she has handled all of this over the last month or so!  So when you see her or talk to her please make sure to let her know how great she is and how proud we all are of her…..God bless her!

So what’s next….she still needs to heal more and be in good physical condition to handle the chemo and handle it well!  She needs to healed completely from the surgery and have her immune system ready….the game plan is to start chemo late May or the 1^st week of June.  She will have a mild cocktail of chemo that will be 4 separate session 3 weeks apart ending sometime beginning August….then she will wait an additional 8-10 weeks to allow the body to recoup from chemo to start the second phase of the reconstructive surgery.   We are just taking one thing at a time so right now it’s healing and getting the body ready for chemo…then she will tackle the next phase of treatment!

So there you have it chemo is the next phase of treatment to get her one step closer to “cancer-free”….hopefully we will be able to have that celebration party and first cocktail that is way overdue sometime soon!  Until then please continue to pray and send words of encouragement!  The meal calendar will most likely open back up for the first part of May as I return to work tomorrow and need to see how that adjustment works out.  We will look at the chemo dates and most likely 5-6 days following chemo and open those days as well, I know that many people are still interested in participating in “meal calendar” moving forward so I will keep you informed once we open more days.  The food has been so wonderful and so helpful so thank you so very much to each of you that have participated since my last post…..so thank you to Crystal & Mario Jimenez, Kristin LaValley, Amy Hester, Mike & Emy Ross, Stephanie Brady, Brooke & Nick Kelsey.

Until next time…..Sarah will continue to heal and keep getting better!

Thank you.....Mac!

2 week post-op (quick update)

So the plan for today was to have reduced the drainage enough to get the last two drains out BUT that was not in the cards for today's appointment.....Sarah's drainage on the last two drains is still too high!  FRUSTRATING.....to say the least!  So per the doctors orders "STOP MOVING AROUND AND KEEP YOUR ARMS FROM MOVING"....yeah let's see how well she follows the doctor's orders.  I may have to put her arms in slings to accomplish that directive from Dr. Rhee.  So we will follow-up on Friday and hope that we the drainage has gone down to 20cc in a 24 hour period....fingers-crossed.

Everything else is healing well and the sutures look great.  She has some inflammation on the left arm where the lymph nodes were removed which is to be expected.  Something that we have to continue to monitor.  There is a little concern about a vein in the armpit and slight blockage/blood clot that has formed so 1 aspirin per day with warm compress to loosen that.....the good news is it is not a deep primary vein so this should resolve on its own with home remedy. 

She did get her last expansion done today so that is good news since pressure and pain always seems to follow each time she is expanded so this is the last time she has to go thru that.

She is in good spirits and continuing to do well!  Sleepless nights and upper back pain are still a continued theme so hopefully once the drains are out that she can have a little more mobility for different sleep positions  She said she wanted to go to Park Meadows Mall and visit the massage kiosks for a upper back massage....she cracks me up!  I will certainly do my best to massage those sore muscles. 

So things are still just coming along....the drainage thing appears to be her only hang up at this point.  We meet with the oncologist next Tuesday to discuss the results of the OncaType DX test results which will tell us if Sarah will need Chemotherapy.  I'm still a little confused how this test can help determine if chemo will be beneficial since in my mind chemo killing all possible cancer in the body seems to be a good thing either way but that's why they are doctors and geneticists....they know best!  She has a great team of doctors.   Currently she has a 60% chance of chemo so we are just planning on that route moving forward.  It's amazing how much genetic testing and involvement has been incorporated into her care and decision-making process.  Individualizing her care based upon those test and genetic results is great so she is being treated for her particular cancer and not in a general manner.  So I'm conflicted on the chemo stuff...I think we both just want the best option with or without chemo that will prevent and eliminate the possibility of a metastatic situation.

Sarah did go wig shopping last week and selected a wig that almost matches her currently hair to a "T"...almost identical.  It was a pretty funny experience and Sarah was laughing about it which is a good sign!  Let me tell you some of those wigs are super expensive like $6000 expensive for the premium real hair options......yeah we are going that route....sorry honey!  HAHA....She was able to find one that was fairly reasonable and nowhere near $6000.  We have a deposit on the wig so if chemo is a go then she has the wig she likes.  We know that insurance is not going to help out with any of the expense of the wig....they say we have to use a wig shop in-network which is in another state...yeah that's completely unhelpful! 

The kids are doing great and supporting their mom as much as possible...this experience has certainly brought our family closer and I think the kids truly value and appreciate mom more....not that they didn't before but this brought reality into check!  Hard lesson to learn at such a young age but a valuable nonetheless!  I very proud of both Isabelle and Michael and the love and compassion that they show toward their mother on daily basis.  They are two amazing kiddos and very strong in their own way....it's not easy to watch a parent go thru a struggle like this at any age let alone at 6 and 9....God bless them!

God is certainly blessing us every day!  Cancer always seems to be the elephant in the room although that elephant is getting smaller and smaller every day.  I don't think the concern it will ever completely go away but I do believe one day that it will be to a point where it just an afterthought and just a small little consideration in our day!  Perhaps something that we will actually appreciate.....to know what she has overcome!  We are grateful that she found the cancer when she did and that everything has been successful up to this point....one day at a time....appreciate and celebrate each accomplishment and milestone!

Thank you as always to everyone for the meals, stopping by to say hello (company is nice), flowers, the wishful thoughts and of course the prayers!  We truly appreciate the positive thoughts and prayers for our family...cancer's hereditary nightmare sometimes overwhelms me and that is where I'm the weakest....the concern for my children and what their future may hold....so I ask all you prayer warriors out there to please continue to pray for Sarah and that she continues to heal well and most importantly that she never has to deal with cancer again her in lifetime.....additionally I ask that you pray for my two beautiful children that that the genes associated with cancer have not been passed on to them and that their future is cancer-free.  I know that God will answer our prayers the way he deems fit and that he will indeed bless my family every day...certainly there is no guarantee how these blessing will come but they will indeed come!

Thank you everyone for continuing to follow the blog and stay interested in Sarah's journey....it means a lot to us!  She is very lucky to have each of you......your love and compassion means so very much.....this helps make the journey that much easier!

Thank you,

Mac

1 week post surgery!

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

I’m happy to say that Sarah is continuing to do well in her healing process since my last post.  The nights have gotten a little better since her mobility has improved, I do not have to accompany her to the restroom or help her sit up which helps me get a little more sleep since I wake her up about every 4 hours throughout the night to take her meds.  This is allowing her to sleep better and get more rest at night.  Her back continues to be a little sore throughout the day, more specifically in the morning but I think that just part of the process and hopefully will continue to subside.  We still try and get out at least one time a day to move around have some sense of normalcy.  On Sunday we did get out and enjoy the nice weather and take the dog and the kids for a small walk around the neighborhood.  She wasn’t setting any land speed records but she was walking fairly well!  We were able to have a somewhat normal Easter for the kiddos but couldn’t attend church which a first in forever! L Each day that passes is one day closer the end of this process and we can put STUPID CANCER behind us!

We did get some wonderful news today from Dr. Moore pertaining to the number of lymph nodes with signs of cancer and the condition of the breast tissue.  Dr. Moore did let us know that there were only 2 lymph nodes that showed signs of having cancer…..praise the Lord and hallelujah!!!  So what does this mean some of you may ask…..well it means that there will be no need for radiation therapy….anything less than 4 is good news!  So she remains as a Stage II due to only those two lymph nodes….this is great news since she will only need chemotherapy!  There is always that possibility (slim very slim) that she will not need chemo but Sarah has made the decision to be as aggressive as possible through the whole process to ensure that this does not come back!  The other good news was that the breast tumor tissue “looked good”…so it appears that the tumor was not like spider webbed all over the breast tissue and isolated to that one section.  The tissue in the right breast was completely clear and no pathology of a malignancy.  Sarah spoke with her oncologist and she diagnosed Sarah as a Stage IIA, tumor size was .6 cm in diameter, margins were negative.  The oncologist will be sending the cancer tissue for OncoType DX testing which will help determine the reoccurrence percentage and the aggressiveness of the cancer.  This will help determine if Chemo is necessary and the regiment of chemo if deemed necessary.  Overall the news from the general surgeon and oncologist was really good and she was happy with the pathology results that she received.  Sarah was so happy that she wanted to do the “Happy Dance” but really couldn’t so I told her to just shake her booty!! J

We had another follow up with her cosmetic surgeon Dr. Rhee today and things are continuing to progress nicely.  The drainage from the remaining drains is still too much at this time to get them removed.  We could tell that Dr. Rhee was really hoping that the drainage would be at an appropriate level so Sarah could get them out today.  They said that Sarah is most likely moving her arms above 90 degrees to often causing the Alloderm Membrane to continue to stretch causing that fluid buildup so no more reaching for Sarah for the next 2 days.  Once the drainage is at a reasonable level then they can pull them out and we can be done with that.  They did fill the expanders today which can be somewhat painful afterwards (more pressure than anything as Sarah puts it) the goal is to get to a size that Sarah is happy with and comfortable having from this point forward.  Sounds like she has some decisions to make about the size she desires to be.  We have another appointment on Friday and the hope is to have the drainage down and remove the last two drains.

Sarah did get her “HEY CANCER……You picked the wrong Bitch!” bumper sticker so that will be going on the car soon….that’s pretty cool! 

Just a couple things I have recently learned since Sarah’s diagnosis and watching my wife go thru this battle:

·         Courage and bravery come in many forms…..I see both in Sarah every day!

·         I’m continually amazed by her spirit and perseverance to get through this and fight every day.

·         Not to worry about the little things and to appreciate every minute of every day (cliché I know but very true)…something that I used to always remember after my father passed away when I was 19….something I have recently regained!

·         At the end of the day…….Family, Friends, and Good Health are probably the most important things in life…..everything  else is an add-on to appreciate.

·         You can be pushed to your breaking point and then go beyond it because you have no other choice but to persevere!

·         There will be good days and bad days…..really really appreciate and value the good days!!

·         Sarah is truly a badass (my words not hers)….Her strength is so amazing and she is so much stronger than me!
 

This last month has been difficult and challenging but each day is a blessing and I appreciate my family and all of our friends!  Without all of you we wouldn’t be as strong as we are…THANK YOU!

I do want to continue to thank everyone that has supported us throughout this whole ordeal.  If you still want to help you can always donate toward Sarah’s medical fund at http://www.gofundme.com/nlv6tk since we are still short of our initial goal and the bills are beginning to roll in……every dollar counts and helps out!  The meal calendar is full for April and we will revisit the needs for May if Chemo is necessary.  Thank you to Nate & Christin Bogg, Junior & Kristin Fischer, Nick & Brooke Kelsey, Aunt Debbie, and Jack & Kasey Kuskie for participating in meal calendar and the meals thus far.   Everything has been so delicious and made our evenings a little easier to get thru.  I always want to send a special thanks to our mothers, Barbara and Theresa along with Sarah’s sister Brittany for your help, love and support….you guys have been amazing!

As always I keep you posted as we move along……things are looking up!  Please continue to pray for us, specifically Sarah and her healing along with the kiddos and that they never have to face this again with their mother or themselves….genetics and cancer is scary and can be unpredictable!  We will take all the prayers we can get!

Thank you and we appreciate you all!

Mac

2 steps forward 1 step back...but now back on track!

So things were going so well and Sarah was progressing nicely as of Tuesday evening, things seemed to take a turn early Wednesday morning.  Sarah was complaining of a mild headache and slight nausea, most likely the side effects of the anesthesia working its way out of her system.  Wednesday evening/Thursday morning was not very fun!  Very little sleep and trying to get her to drink her water and eat just something seemed to be a huge struggle.  Needless to say by early Thursday morning she was not doing well at all and I was very concerned at that point.  Something was not right for sure since she was doing SO WELL just 12 hours earlier.  I made a call to the doctor and they recommended that we go back the SkyRidge ER and get some IV fluids back in her system since she was most likely dehydrated.

So back to SkyRidge we went and Sarah was definitely dealing with a huge migraine at this point.  What I thought would be a quick 2-3 hour visit for fluids turned out to be about a 6 hour stay in the ER.  I was completely exhausted and pushed to my limits at this point.  It was hard to see my wife struggling so much and dealing with the nausea and a severe headache. We made the executive decision to have her start taking some oral anti-nausea medicine and switch to Dilaudid since the Percocet just seemed to be more harm than good (itching and possible cause of the headache).  We made our way home with our new medicine regiment to help stop the nausea, itching, and headaches.  Let me tell you what a God send that was to make that change.  By 3am Sarah was alert and ready to eat (a little pudding and jell-o…fine with me as long as it was something).  I was practically forcing water in her every 30 minutes since I didn’t want the dehydration issues to pop back up.  By the morning she was eating cereal with Isabelle and doing so much better, a complete 180 from just 12 hours prior and having to be in the ER.  She was up and moving and back to her old form from when she left the hospital on Tuesday, SUPERWOMAN was back in action!  I prayed and prayed all night long that God would help her feel better…..prayers were answered!  Praise the Lord!

We went to her cosmetic surgeon today at 11:30 and checked on the healing.  Still progressing nicely and she is doing great!  So much so that we got 2 of the drains out today.  That is huge relief because let me tell you how much fun those are to drain and do every 3-4 hours….yeah it SUCKS! LOL….pulling that out of Sarah was a little surreal to watch!  But she was a tough cookie and did it without any anesthetic and powered through it.  She wasn’t ready to see her boobs in the current appearance but let me tell you what….she is absolutely beautiful and her boobs look great after major surgery.  There is nothing at all that she has be ashamed of and these scars one day will be almost completely non-visible and small reminder of the journey she has gone thru….the battle that she won! Her spirit and resilience is truly amazing to see….she amazes me more and more every day!  She has so much fight in her…..gotta love it!  It’s truly contagious….

We were able to leave the doctor’s office and go get a bite to eat at The Pancake House….eggs and pancakes!  Overall things are back on track and she is doing great!  Next appointment will be on Tuesday and she will be able to shower that morning….she is looking forward to that day for sure!  We are still waiting to hear back about the pathology from the lymph nodes….her oncologist is out of town so it appears that we will wait until early next week.

I was able to go workout for an hour….Thank you Britany….and I even took the kids to the pool to get out of the house!  Things are getting back to the normal routine faster than I had anticipated other than the small setback yesterday…..my wife is a champ!

Thank you to everyone who has sent flowers…..it beautiful to see them all over the house….see what we see all over the house!

Home sweet home!

We are home and doing well! Sarah is all situated and upstairs in bed resting...exactly where she should be.  I just need to adjust to this routine and then everything should be smooth sailing! We have a follow up appointment with the cosmetic surgeon on Friday....I will update the blog after that appointment! Time to take a little break from the blog and just focus on things here at home.  Thank you everyone who has been following the blog to stay informed about Sarah's progress.  This blog has been very helpful to get the word out to everyone. Meal train starts tomorrow so thank you in advance to everyone helping out with meals....that will be so very helpful! I will keep everyone posted after Friday's appointment....Until then wish me luck! 😄.

Mac

Time to go home

Sarah is doing so well that we get to go home very soon! Last night was a little difficult, she was finally able to get the pain under control and be steady at a 4/10. The nausea finally subsided and she was able to get up and move just a little bit. The night was definitely sleepless since the nursing staff had to come in frequently to check vitals, give mess and help Sarah use the restroom! So combined we got about 49 minutes of sleep....lol!  The nursing staff here at SkyRidge have been absolutely wonderful and very helpful!

Dr. Rhee came in this morning around 6:30 and checked the margins of the sutures and the healing is going well!!!  He was really impressed with her progress and how well she is doing.  He did comment that her healing and quick recovery is really impressive. Apparently Sarah is superwoman!! Her general surgeon Dr. Moore came in about 9:30 and she also commented on how well things are healing and how great she looks!  So both surgeons have the same opinion of her recovery currently and how well things are progressing which means things are on the right track.

We should be getting the results of the pathology from the lymph nodes by Friday so hopefully it's only isolated to just that 1....positive thoughts and prayers unite! Send them our way!!

We plan on going home around 2pm, she just got up and had a quick walk around the floor and finished her lunch....Sarah is so amazing and strong! I will attach a picture of her up and around on FB in her pink robe since my phone won't allow it Google Blogger...

Overall things are going great....ready to go home and allow the kids to be around her and Tank to see his mom....that crazy dog! It will be good for her healing and help for a speedy recovery....something tells me there is no slowing Sarah down! She's determined to get on with her life and not let any of this hold her back! She is something to ADMIRE, she's defienitly my hero!

Hey cancer.....You messed with the wrong bitch!

Gotta love Morphine

ok so it's about 7:05 and she is finally getting some sleep....she has only been able to sleep about 30 minutes since coming out of surgery!  They have been trying to control the pain and maintain some consistency on her pain scale level.  Currently she is at about a 5-6/10, which is where she needs to be.  She was shot to eat some jello and chicken noodle soup from Noodles&Co, they would like to see more water consumption but we will take what we can get.  She is very sore and can barely move her arms upwards more than 6 inches.  She is working on taking oral pain medicine (Percocet) so that maintains the pain better than the IV pain mess since those fluctuate a lot. The morphine definitely works well so she is requesting that for home.....yeah good luck Sarah on that request! Movement definitely makes her pain go higher....she needs to move up and around 3 times per day to be discharged so we will see if she can go home tomorrow.  Well it's been a long day and Sarahs quote for the day is "THIS SUCKS!" But she is relieved that bad tissue is out of her body....

Sarah is warrior and has done great today! Hopefully she is able to get some rest tonight and feel a little better tomorrow! The kids got to come see her and they know that their mom is okay!  We need to break through the morphine need to control the pain and rely on controlling the pain with Percocet.....I will keep you all posted and let you guys know where things are tomorrow.  Good night all!

Surgery Complete

Yay.....Surgery is complete and she is in recovery! The cosmetic surgeon said everything's went as planned and she did great. I will be able to go in and see her shortly. She is still a little sleepy but once she is more alert we can go back and she her....

Thank you so much to everyone that has been praying and sending is text messages and FB messages today wishing Sarah luck and a successful surgery! She is loved by so very many people and we appreciate all of you! It's great to know that we are not alone in this battle!  Keep you guys update on her recovery and healing process....step 1 (surgery) COMPLETE in this process....we can check that off our checklist!

Thank you again and God Bless!

Reconstructive Surgery Update

As of 11:45 they finished one side and started on the other side....this portion of the surgery is for the tissue membrane for support of the expanderrs and tissue expanders....everything going as planned! Stay tuned....

Surgery Update

The surgical portion of the procedure is done and Sarah did very well. The surgeon was very pleased with the results....now the cosmetic surgeon is taking over and beginning his portion!  The surgical portion went fairly fast so that's good news....keep everyone posted!

Mac

Surgery has started

Sarah is back in surgery start time 8:30....anticipated duration of the surgery is supposed to be approximately 6 hours so until about until 2:30! What a long time to wait....she is in good spirits and looking forward to getting this part over with.  There was much anticipation and nerves this morning which is to be expected.  Please continue to pray for her throughout the day....we need all the prayers we can get! Thank you everyone

Meal Train Update

For those of you signed up with "Meal Train", everything has been uploaded for the days that we need meals so if you would like to provide meals you can do so through the calendar on the website at this time.  If you have created your account then you should have received an updated email......either way you can now go and select a day that you would like to provide a meal.  The calendar has been updated through the month of April as we are not completely certain of the needs after April since it will depend on when chemotherapy treatment.  We know that meals will be needed during chemotherapy and will update the "Meal Train" once we have more information.

Just a reminder there are coolers on the front porch for you to put the food in, also based upon how Sarah is feeling we will have sign out front for "visitors welcome" or "unfortunately no visitors as this time".  Thank you again to everyone for your support and kindness as we begin this journey!

If you have any questions about the meal train please contact Theresa Perry at tmmperry12@gmail.com

Thank you,

Sarah, Mac, Michael, and Isabelle

Surgery Next Week

Update before surgery on Tuesday.....

Everything is ready to go, Sarah's surgery is planned for Tuesday check-in at 6:30am and surgery starts at 8:30am.  The surgery is planned for about 6 hours start to finish (that includes post-op and cleanup) so most likely the surgery will take about 5 hours or so.  I will try to keep everyone up to speed on the surgery date through the blog if you want to check it periodically.  Sarah will stay over night on Tuesday in the hospital and return home on Wednesday and then let the good times roll! 

We want to thank everyone again for all of the support, love, prayers, and warm-wishes coming our way!  We are so fortunate have such a strong support system....thank you as well for everyone that has signed up for the "meal train" we know how important that is during her healing to eat well and not having to worry about meals everyday.  Lord knows Sarah wouldn't want me cooking for her everyday!! 

I also want to send a special thank you to all of my AMAZING co-workers and their support, I feel so blessed to have so many amazing people supporting me at work during this difficult time.  Here is picture of them in their "Pink" today and wearing pink on Fridays in support of Sarah and I......it means a lot and I'm so appreciative everyone at CU School of Dental Medicine!

 

 

We are planning on just a low-key weekend, movies with kids and dinner out tomorrow night!  Then Sunday preparing for this week....Sarah is concerned that I will forgot about a lot of things necessary to keep the house running so she wants to try and prepare me on Sunday for everything...I'm sure she right about half of them but as long as I don't burn the house down I think that we will survive. 

 

Thank you,

 

Mac 

 

The power of the Lord will get us through this difficult time....

 

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 55:22  Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Plastic Surgeon Talk...boobs, boobs, boobs!

March 11, 2015

Monday was the day to discuss the options with the cosmetic plastic surgeon, we went into the appointment thinking that it was going to be simple and easy......yeah we were wrong!  Information overload for sure, so many questions and decisions to make.  To give everyone an idea of what this 2 hour consultation was like.....the plastic surgeon had to present all possible options with percentages of what most woman do and the type of surgery that is performed.  Then the detailed questions....where will extra skin come from if needed, how that surgery will be performed; if a muscle is needed to support the implants later, where that would likely come from; what's involved with saving the nipples and how blood flow comes into concern; to use expanders or go straight into implants, success rates.....lots and lots on information.  The nipple conservation issue seemed to the big topic...to save or not to save, tattoo options, can we use Mac's nipples (just kidding not an option)!  After all was said and done it was best to go home and think about it.  Sarah had an opportunity to talk to some woman that have already been through this process to help understand pros and cons to the various scenarios for the reconstructive process.  After much contemplation and discussion a decision was made....we would proceed forward with the recommend 4 phased surgery.  First surgery will consists of double mastectomy with placement of expanders.  Expanders will be filled weekly for about 5/6 weeks.  After chemo and possible radiation the second surgery will be completed where they exchange the expanders with implants.  The third and fourth surgery will be removing fat from other areas of the body (yes she will get liposuction) and injecting the fat into the breast area.  Keep in mind the mastectomy will be removing ALL tissue so Sarah will have nothing left other than outside skin and expanders and then implants.

Sarah attempted to contact the plastic surgeon's scheduling assistant the next day to coordinate the surgery with the general surgeon but no such luck, she was OUT SICK!!  Talk about frustrating when we just want to get moving on this, so we call again today (Wednesday) and she's still out sick....okay can someone else help us get appointed.  This delay in the process was difficult to handle since the cosmetic surgeon was the part that was holding up the surgery date.  They finally they were able to coordinate things and tell Sarah "Well the cosmetic surgeon (who will remain unnamed) is going on vacation for two weeks starting on the 25th so we can get your surgery scheduled for April 11th"....ok what the heck just happened and why wasn't this explained on Monday when we were talking about expediting the surgery because of the importance of the treatment.  Ok, what about his partner....is that an option???...apparently not even worth discussion at this time.  Long story short we have found another highly recommended Cosmetic Plastic Surgeon Dr. Rhee in Castle Rock who made accommodations to get us in tomorrow night for a consultation and pre-surgical procedural consultation.  They have tentatively scheduled the surgery 3/31....not even meeting us and yet they have gone above and beyond to help get Sarah's surgery scheduled sooner and made us feel like a priority!  What a great feeling!

So there you have it people....3/31 the TaTa's will go and Sarah will begin this journey!  Each day will be one step closer to the end of this chapter of our lives.  Sarah can look in the rear view mirror and the image/memory/experience of going through this is further and further away!

We are encouraged by how things are now progressing and falling into place.  We know that the post-surgery process will be difficult but it's great to know that we have such a huge support system with all of our friends and family....we know we will need help when that times comes after surgery!

We want to send a special thank you to all of the parents of Michaels' friends, his buddies have been so supportive of him at school and making sure he is okay and telling him sorry that his mom is sick.  He came home the other day and said that his friends have been supportive of him.  It's great to hear that he also has that support by his friends and they are thinking of him, we appreciate that they are helping him out too.

As far as the donation fund http://www.gofundme.com/nlv6tk goes we are so close to our initial goal of $8,500 so thank you to everyone that has donated to Sarah's upcoming medical expenses, your contributions are greatly appreciated. 

Again thank you so much to everyone for the support, love, and generosity coming our way!  We feel so very blessed to have such wonderful support group and so many wonderful friends that are here supporting us in so many different ways!  Words can't express our deep appreciation to everyone....

Hey cancer..you messed with the wrong bitch!: Telling the kids

Hey cancer..you messed with the wrong bitch!: Telling the kids: Some of you have been asking about the kids and how they are taking the news since we recently told them about Sarah.   I wanted to let ...

Telling the kids

Some of you have been asking about the kids and how they are taking the news since we recently told them about Sarah.  I wanted to let everyone know how the conversation went.

Sarah and I looked at the internet for some tips on how to tell a child that you are diagnosed with cancer just to help us prepare for this difficult conversation.  Everything told us to be honest about what Sarah is dealing with, tell him what type of cancer Sarah has, do not get to detailed, give general information about the treatment and reassure him about the prognosis.  To be honest I wasn’t sure how he would react and what he would be thinking……it’s hard to remember being 9 let alone having to be told your parent has cancer.

It was difficult to even get the first sentence out without cry……so much for not crying until the end of conversation, we both failed at that!  Sarah simply told Michael that she has breast cancer and that is why she has had to see the doctor so much lately.  We could see fear and concern on Michael’s face immediately.  It didn’t take long before he was crying and didn’t know what to say.  It was the hardest thing to see and watch our little boy try to register and understand what his mommy is going through.  We asked him what he was thinking to help console him, he said “I don’t want you to die mom”.  I guess at that age you relate cancer to death, totally understandable….Sarah and I were quick to reassure him that mommy is going to be okay and that the doctors have told her that this is 100% treatable and that mommy is not going to die from cancer!  By far one of the most difficult conversations we have ever had with our son Michael.  You just want to protect your children from feeling pain or distress…..he’s just a kid he shouldn’t have to worry about these things!  It took some time to get him to him to understand what the process is going to be and how this is going to affect Sarah. 

We were able to get a small laugh and chuckle out of him when we told him that he gets to cut mom’s hair if and when the time comes during her chemo treatments.  He felt that Mohawk would be appropriate before all her hair falls out.  We did tell him that it will all grow back some day.  We told him that Sarah is going to have surgery and that she will have to take medicine for the next 5-10 years to make sure that the cancer does not come back.  We also touched on how she will be sick sometimes and not feel well but that will only be temporary. 

We told him it’s ok to cry when he is sad and that we are here for him no matter what and that he can come talk to us about his feelings anytime!  We emphasized the importance of supporting mom over these next 6 months and helping out in the little ways but to remember to still be kid and not worry so much about mom’s cancer.  At the end of the conversation he was still worried and concerned about Sarah, I hope that he doesn’t worry too much about his amazing mom!  I know that things will be hard for Michael as we move through this process and as he begins to see the physical effects of this battle but we know that we have a great support group that will help all of get through this…..we reminded him that we will just take one day at a time “ODAAT”, not to worry about tomorrow and to just love mom as much as possible.

Now I didn’t forget Isabelle…our beautiful Belle!  She being only 6 really didn’t understand much at all of what was going on other than serious concern over mommy losing her hair, let me tell you she was VERY concerned over mommy’s hair!  Bless her sweet little heart….we told her that she will have a wig and that the hair will come back! 

Overall I think the kids are in a good place and understand what Sarah is going through.  We check on Michael often and just ask how he is doing.  He did the sweetest thing yesterday and wouldn’t allow Sarah to carry his and Isabelle’s backpacks to the car, he said “no mom, let help you and I will carry these for you”.  He’s a great kid….

I did want to send a special ‘thank you’ to some of Michael’s teaching staff at Wildcat Mountain Elementary and how wonderful they have been.  Sarah has notified his principal Mrs. Milley, his aftercare program director Mrs. Lori Hickerson and his teacher Mrs. Sheehy.  Everyone has been absolutely amazing and supportive.  His teacher Mrs. Sheehy was so compassionate and caring….she assured Sarah that Michael will be well supported at school and they will take great care of him.  It’s nice to know that he is in great hands and being supported at school during this tough time.

We will keep you all posted after the appointment on Monday with the plastic surgeons. Till then……We’re staying strong and Sarah is looking forward to just getting start so she can begin the healing process….every day that passes is one day closer to being cancer free!

-Mac-

Determining a plan of attack...Get ready cancer we're coming for you!

March 4, 2015

Today we got to meet with the oncologist, she is wonderful and well informed!  She helped create a sense of calm and confidence about moving forward....as she put it "You will look back on this time and understand it to be just a another chapter in your life!"

So here's the down and dirty.....THE PLAN TO KILL CANCER!

A couple fun facts about my cancer for those of you that love the details and technical jargon:

• The current classification of the cancer is Stage IIA
• Tumor size still believed to be less than 1cm but still not completely known until after surgery
• Isolated to left breast and currently the information shows only 1 lymph node involved
• Surgery along with path will help give definitive information if it's only that 1 lymph node (prayers for just 1 lymph node with cancer!)
• Grade of the tumor is a Grade 2 (scale 1-3)
• Progesterone and Estrogen Receptors - POSITIVE (Good thing)
• This allows for hormone blocking treatments.....yay!
• HER/2New - Negative (Good Thing)
• This means its a less aggressive cancer
• Growth rate - 17% (this is from 1-100%)
• So relative slow growth rate, ideal range between 1-10% but under 20% is still good

So moving forward, we meet with the cosmetic plastic surgeon on Monday to discuss the reconstructive surgery that they will be involved in after the surgeon completely removes the tissue from the left breast....yes I will get new boobs!

We have made a decision to go with a double mastectomy and take both breasts at this time, essentially having a 98% assurance that there will not be a reoccurrence in my breast tissue.  Plus it certainly helps with peace of mind!  And the boobs will match and be symmetric :)

Surgery will be first and the date of the surgery will depend on when the plastic surgeon and general surgeon can provide treatment simultaneously.  We are hoping here in about 3 weeks.....just get that stuff out of my body!!

There is still question on whether I will definitively need chemo because of the uncertainly of the true size of the tumor and how many lymph nodes have cancer present....we have decided even if there is any question about chemo that I will move forward with chemo just to be certain.  If I do need chemo it will consist of 4 separate treatments 3 weeks apart starting sometime between 4-6 weeks after surgery...so much for dying my really blonde for the summer months!  Bummer....Keep in mind that in some situations chemo statistically does provide advanced results because of the low factor of spreading, hence the surgical part first to see if the cancer has spread into the more than (1) lymph node.  This also applies to radiation therapy...again all depending on the findings from the pathology of the tissue after surgery....the oncologist just wants as much information as possible to make a good recommendation for the therapy moving forward!

Overall today has been a good day and we appear to be on the right track and God is pointing us in the right direction.  After Monday hopefully we will have surgery date soon and get ready to rock n' roll!

I would like to take a moment to THANK everyone for their support, donations and words of encouragement.  Mac and I are truly blessed to have all of you in our lives and to care so much about me and what we're going through.  There are not enough words to express our gratitude and appreciation.

We have made a decision to also tell Michael tonight about what is going on with his mommy so that he can ask many questions as possible and understand what's going on.  We don't want him to be afraid or fear what I'm going through.  Obviously there is no easy way to tell someone that you have cancer especially your little boy but we want to give him as much time as possible before I undergo surgery.  Wish us luck!

As mentioned before if any of you would like to provide financial support for the medical expenses coming down the road please got to: http://www.gofundme.com/nlv6tk

We have decided to donate any overage amount of donation money that exceeds my medical expenses once everything is said and done to a Breast Cancer Awareness Charity (Susan G. Komen, Breast Cancer Research Foundation, etc) so please keep in mind that ultimately the money will go toward my medical costs and to advancing cancer research and supporting other cancer patients!  We appreciate everyone's kind donations!

Well that's about all for today...ODAAT "One Day At A Time"....overall we are in a good place today and feeling good about the plan and moving forward...

We will keep you guys posted after Monday!